Dalam meeting ketika semua diminta mengungkapkan pendapatnya dan suddenly it is my turn…

Boss: “Apa pendapatmu, Ngel?”
Me: ……………. – yeap, I probably won’t say a word or simply rephrase someone answer before me. *guilty as charged*

But why I did that? You wonder?
Here’s a clue or two…

When there are five or more people at the same table and four of them are talking about the ideas, I will be the one listening. But more than just hearing the words they said, I was implicitly observing their emotions and their energy. Grasping things that were unsaid. That was why, in the middle of any conversation or a meeting, if you suddenly ask me to share ideas or to start talking, I will definitely give you that I-have-no-idea kind of stare and leave-me-the-hell-alone-thinking stare – you named it.

It is not that daku tidak mau sharing apa yang terpikirkan or sedang dipikirkan, terkadang yang terpikirkan itu terlalu complicated untuk dikatakan on the spot karena banyaknya benang merah yang sedang terjalin di otakku. But if, if you are patience enough to allow me to digest my own thoughts.. then you’ll probably hear one or two of the most brilliant ideas ever.

You see, I am not sorry for not participating on a tense meeting or conversation that need a further consideration, because I was using all of my energy to find a solution when you guys were sort-of-debating each other opinions, unconsciously feeding each other ego and creating a heated-argument. In this kind of situation, you’ll probably find me snooze out somewhere.

So, saying this… hopefully kalian menyadari why those words, “pendiam amat yak?”, “males mikir ya lo”, “ga punya ide?”, “pelit ide nih ga mau sharing” were (all) NOT RELEVANT to the real situation and you were saying those words because you have no idea what we (me and other introverts) are capable off.

**
Sometimes, it is best for me (and other introvert) to keep silent because when we see through your soul, there are time when you wish the “are you fuckin mind-reading me” situation won’t happen in the first place. Riiiggghhhtttt?

Your Introvert Friend.